16 Tools for Effective Parents (part 3) 

Dealing with problems

n 11. Use “I” statements. Let your child know how you feel, why, and what you want them to do. “I feel when you because . This is what I want you to do .” Example: When your daughter leaves her curling iron on, you might say, “I worry when you leave the curling iron on because it uses electricity and could start a fire. Please go turn it off right now.”

n 12. Use natural consequences. Let your child learn from what happens naturally without scolding, lecturing, or rescuing. Example: When your son forgets his gloves on a cold day, let him find out how uncomfortable he getsso that he will decide on his own to remember next time. Don’t lecture!

n 13. Use logical consequences. Create consequences with your child for specific rules. They should be related to the rule broken, reasonable, and respectful. Remember, rules and consequences should change as your child grows and develops. However, children of all ages need rules to help provide them with structure for living. It is important that parents communicate rules and consequences clearly to their child ahead of time. Example: If your daughter comes home late in the evening after spending time with a friend, remind her that the consequence is not getting to go out the next evening.

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